How it began

What inspired me to write it?

A good question and one I can’t really answer.  I do know that around the same time as its creation, I was playing with the idea as to why would God create the world?  How it was created does not seem so important to me.

One of my earlier ideas was having a young, growing God make the earth for his final school exam.  Built around the idea that there is more than one god, a belief of the Latter-day saints.  They have this idea that in the seventh universe on the seventh planet etc.  …  is the home of the Gods.  And from this came the idea of my student.

The problem was how to make a good story out of it.

Staying with this idea of creating a world, my thoughts must have somehow drifted across to the Gospel of Thomas, in which it refers to God not being in a building but all around.

How exactly I got from these two points to having a digital game of Creation, I don’t know.  As I explained earlier, I don’t think when I play the piano but listen and feel.  I guess it must be something similar with my writing, at least the inspirational part.  To get there, I need to turn off from the world around me, and let my mind open, channeling my thoughts.  To do this, I re-read what I have written, as if it were stairs taking me to where I want to go.  In the past, this was often accompanied by a glass of wine.  Experience has taught me that more than two, is not productive.  I think the wine was more symbolic than an instrument.  Maybe because of my job.  I associate alcohol with relaxation. For those of you who don’t know, I spent most of my life making music in bars.  Not the chill-out kind, but the: let’s go crazy, it’s the end of the world, kind.  I am GoD connecting began in this atmosphere, in Frankfurt, in the Maritim Hotel bar, amid highly motivated people of all walks of life.  Simply put, an amazing place to feel inspired. 

Turning off after entertaining these guests, always took time, as I was usually quite pumped up after playing.  Impossible to sleep, and a wonderful moment.

Usually, when I finished, the bar was still quite full, and so I would stay, to either chat, or chill, while at the same time keeping an eye on the equipment.  I slept in the hotel, so there was never any hurry to go anyway.  Sometimes the barman would ask me to play again or DJ.  It was over time, but I never saw it that way.  The bar crew always served me no matter how busy the place was, surely that was reason enough to play on?   For me, making music is not about playing from nine to five, but friends, and fun.  I like making music, and they liked to hear it.  And after, well, I could sit at the bar and have a drink knowing I had done my job and the bar crew, hopefully had been tipped well.

But anyway, back to the door of inspiration.  I am not sure how it works, but after the first sip of wine, the world around me begins to fade.  I find myself deaf to the noise, crowd, and lights.  I find I can focus solely on the images in my head.  I am carried along with them.  When I am alone in my room, and this happens, I often get emotionally moved.  I write about things that I find personally difficult to talk about.  This sounds like I have used my characters to reveal parts of me, and in a way, I have.  If I were to describe myself, it would be a sexual Panda.  Black, white, and Asian.  Male and female.  Adult and childish.  But all mixed up like a huge bag of cables.  Perhaps it is this confusion as to who I am, that helps me create my characters, I don’t know, as honestly, I am not particularly good at understanding people in general, and I think this struggle to do so, to love them, in an open-hearted way, has helped me create them.

But I am drifting.

Back to how it the story began.

It must have started one evening in the bar in Frankfurt, after work.  The bar crew most probably would have been serving the last few guests, while at the same time cleaning.  I would probably have sat down at the regular guest spot at the bar, with my glass of white or red wine nearby, pen and paper in hand, literally scribbling down ideas.  One of these scribbles must have been the inspiration that would later become I am GoD.  

By edwardholden

I have been lots of things to many people. Some nice, and some... well not so nice. Now I am older and less worried about what people think of me. My past is colorful, sad and happy. Filled with lots of unique people. I have been blessed in this way. I have walked with people in all walks of life, and I have loved each journey, and each and everyone of them. Now, I write. It is a new road. It is not a highway or a crossroad. It leads me somewhere though, and as I have always spent my life travelling, this suits me fine.

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